It’s okay not to have yourself together before the new year. It’s ok to carry struggles from the year before into the next. It’s ok if growth does not happen in a day. It’s ok to be unfinished.
Growth is a humbling, unraveling process. Because to grow, means to recognize what you are not. Growth takes peeling back the layers of pride and self-sufficiency; it takes heart-surrender and soul rest at His feet. It takes the knowledge of your insufficiency.
Thoughts on new resolves are bouncing off every platform lately. Thoughts on long-term growth turned short-term. Thoughts on my “enoughness” and strength to change. Subtle reminders of my sufficiency.
When I look to myself, however, I see someone who is is still picking up the pieces of her life, trying to hold herself together as the world around her falls apart, only to have her life spiral farther out of her control, shattering her world with only scarred remains of normal. Only to have her pursuit of growth interrupted by failure.
I see one who clearly needs strength outside of herself.
The truth I see is clear: I am not enough, and I need someone to be enough for me. Someone who knows my worth yet redeems my unworthiness; who knows my imperfection and credits me His righteousness.
Someone who knows my weakness and gives me His grace.
Jesus is the only one who can enable true, grace-filled growth. A kind of growth that does not stem from a need for acceptance or approval, but one that flows from a heart of thankfulness for his gift of life and salvation. A kind of growth that occurs as he chisels my heart toward change, shaping me to reflect his image.
Because he alone is worthy, growth by grace is possible.
What a relief for someone who has always felt the need to live up to my standard of perfection. What a beautiful reminder as we enter another year of grace, another year of growth made possible.